Wednesday, November 11, 2009

What if Anthony Bourdain came to Dallas?

Most of us can agree, Anthony Bourdain has the BEST job in the world. On his show No Reservations, Bourdain travels around the world as hosts from each locale help to expose their unique culture and cuisine, however wacky or mundane.

It is my fantasy to be Bourdain's Dallas episode tour guide and my mission to MAKE him like Dallas (or Texas, for that matter). With his dry sense of humor, irreverent persona, passion for the culinary arts, and insatiable thirst for alcohol, I'm certain we will be fast friends.

The phrase, "I would definitely take Bourdain here" has been incorporated into my everyday vernacular as I constantly refine my 'No Reservation itinerary'. Needless to say, when the Travel Channel comes knocking at my door to host 'No Reservations: The Dallas Episode', I'm ready to go!

First stop: Fuel City. Tell me where else you'll find a gasoline station with roaming longhorns, a swimming pool complete with bikini-clad women, and a karaoke truck (just in case you might want to belt out your favorite Latin tunes) as the setting for a 24-hour taco stand with surprisingly authentic al pastor and barbacoa tacos.

Next up: Tillman's Roadhouse for Dallas' twist on a Texas staple. Amongst wooden animal heads and over-sized chandeliers, we will feast on venison Frito pie and braised buffalo short ribs in culture-ridden Oak Cliff (I can hear Bourdain's raging commentary now).

Then onto Rattlesnake Bar in the Ritz-Carlton for a margarita and to scope out Dallasites at their finest. Gotta go to Fearing's to sample southwestern fusion cuisine at its best, after all Dean Fearing has been an icon for so long that he is woven into our Dallas tapestry.

On the hole-in-the-wall circuit will be Odom's for BBQ, Chapman Chile Kitchen for Texas chile and stuffed jalapenos, La Hechizera for chicken tinga huaraches (pictured above) and ice-cold Mexican soft drinks, and the The Grapevine Bar for bloody mary's and people watching. Then, with an invitation from Ricardo Avila, we will enjoy Avila's brisket chile rellenos and throw back shots of various tequilas until we are salsa dancing down Maple Street (or until our stomachs can take no more).

But to dispel Bourdain's stereotypes of Dallas, I'm gonna need some help. As only one of many Dallas foodies, I need other's opinions of what sums up our unique city. Tell me your 'No Reservations itinerary'!